thoughts of my existence
through words i try to express
for you to share
not to misinterpret.
- blog


what it feels like to be in your position?
what it feels like to be in the others state of thinking?
what it feels like to be you, not me?
do other people also think of this kinds of stuffs that I had in my mind?
why am I here?
what if I'm not existing? does it make difference? I must be very lucky to exist.
i think there's a purpose of me being here..

I remember this are the questions I ask myself when i was...... i think in grade 3 elementary.
As I recall it was early morning, when I'm walking my way to school, every time at the same spot near the gate, The thought, the questions, often pop in this little head of mine.
By that time, what I answer or telling myself is "hm. I'm still young. Maybe there's much more to happen while growing up" then i continued my life as a child.
And now, I'm 20yrs of age.. I learned a lot. More than an average man can, I may say. But the truth is, this knowledge wouldn't be sufficient enough. What I have is a few drops of everything.
that makes me weak, but through weakness I gather my strength.

(just like before.. I'm trying to tell whats all in this head.. but, something blocks my way to do so, those are: etc. i can't even mention it.. Am I a, . . . but I don't want to think that I'm a dumb.. oh crap.. hahaha)


there is this song I can't fully understand when I was a child.. It's a song of Britney..
here is the chorus: Stronger than yesterday
now its nothin' but my way
my lonliness ain't killing me no more
i...im stronger

what does she mean by being strong? - I can't see any bulky muscles in her body during that time. . - Until I realise, while growing up.. .
I was a, - kind a stupid to think that way..
well at least I understand it now... haha.

until next time. smell ya!




well Britney looks strong here. isn't she?